by In the first part of this two-part discussion of the pursuit of uncomfortableness, the focus was on changing everyday behaviors, trying new things, challenging ourselves to grow, learn and improve and fighting through the uncomfortableness that inevitably results.
In Part 2, we look deeper within us to challenge ourselves to recognize and gain a better understanding of who we really are, what we really want, think, feel and need and of the personal Noise that must change if we are to follow our own path.
Our pursuit to Be Our Best greatly benefits by our knowing who we really are and being content with it. This begins with an honest self-assessment. The more honest we are with ourselves the more progress we make toward our goal of Being Our Best, of maximizing our potential.
Honesty is critical to this process. So is a clear, open mind as we explore our depths. This is personal — it doesn’t get any more personal. Asking ourselves the hard questions: Do we feel good about who we are? Do we trust ourselves? Do we live in fear? Is our self-worth defined by the latest victory or defeat? Do we spend our time trying to win the approval of others? Do we ruminate on moments yet to come or moments past to try to know and control what cannot be known and controlled? Are we in a constant battle with life’s natural rhythms?
If we answer “yes” to any of these, then it is time to pursue the uncomfortable. This pursuit is life’s most difficult and most rewarding. Changing behaviors that have become embedded deep within us, that mask who we really are, test our commitment, perseverance and patience. It takes much effort, much understanding and the ability to cut ourselves some slack, for there are no straight lines in nature.
Channeling all that we are to focus on this moment only is where we begin. There is only one place that we are, and life is — this moment. No other moments matter. Other moments be damned. If we own this moment only, we will make the most of it and this will position us for more success than we would otherwise have in this moment and in moments yet to come. Developing the mental discipline to limit our focus to this moment only means we enjoy a clear, open mind, at peace, uncluttered by fear, distrust, worry and anxiety. This yields better choices today. Better choices today mean better results today and tomorrow.
When we know better who we really are and trust who we really are, what we really want, think, feel, need becomes clearer. There is no need to question ourselves, for the best possible response to this moment is already, always happening within us. It is up to each of us to recognize it and then let it loose.
Embracing change, breaking old bad habits becomes much easier if we are acting from a solid foundation built from who we really are. If we define a life well lived as being true to ourselves, being comfortable in our own skin and that our response to whatever life brings is the best possible for it is all that we are as of this moment, then we have found victory, no matter whether we win or lose in this particular moment. In short, when we are being who we really are, experiencing life the way it was meant to be lived, moment by moment, then we have won. This makes change, breaking old habits easier. While still difficult, knowing we have already won, breeds confidence and greases the wheels of change.
Becoming more self-aware is a path most do not walk. It is difficult. It is frustrating. It is incredibly uncomfortable. It requires much effort and perseverance, for it is a winding path that often backtracks. It asks us to change basic assumptions, beliefs and to understand them and their source. This can be painful and frustrating. But it is worth it.
As we said in Part One, to learn, grow and improve requires we be uncomfortable. The new, the different can feel threatening, feed fear and leave us unmoored for a time. This is never truer than when asking the hardest and most personal of life’s questions:
Am I being the kind of person I want to be?
Do I look forward to each day?
Am I passionate about what I am doing?
Have I gone stale? Is life a series of motions and not much more?
Am I making a difference?
Am I at peace?
If the time has arrived to pursue change, pursue the uncomfortable, do so. Commit, be patient, remain true and relish the learning, the growing, the improving and the feeling of peace that marks the new path.
More to come.
Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based retailer Kittle’s Furniture.
