Life is meant to be lived moment by moment. This is how we are designed and built. We can deal with whatever life brings when we take it a moment at a time. When we stray from this, life becomes much more difficult. We give up what little control we have, we try to know what cannot be known and change what cannot be changed, which means we fall short of making the most of this moment and living the life we want to live. 

There are times when we are weighed down by what life has served up. We can become mired in unpleasant memories or distracted by what could happen if a result goes against us. A closed loop of fear, of sorrow, of distrust can clutter our mind, pollute our thoughts and leave us unhappy, anxious and uncomfortable with not only life but who we think we are. This is Noise. Our personal Noise. It is not who we really are. Learning to understand the difference between who we really are and the Noise that masks our true self is a life challenge that we all must meet if we are to find peace, contentment and happiness.

A move forward is to accept and embrace these burdens for what they are and strive to understand why they exist. For example, maybe we are anxious about an upcoming negotiation. Why? Fear of failure? Worry about what others will think? That we will be responsible for a disaster for our organization if we fail? A lack of self-confidence? Delve into the “why” of these feelings. Try to understand their source. Then learn to put these fears to the side. It also pays dividends when we step back and ask whether we are doing all that we can, and no more, to prepare for the negotiation. If we are, then there is nothing more to do. Recognize the Noise that is drowning out our true feelings. Is it telling us to do more even though there is nothing more to do? Is it hammering us to be absolutely sure (impossible) that we have done all that we can to be ready? Is it making unreasonable, super-human demands that weigh us down, that distract us, that keep us from being our best in this moment? If so, recognize this and then take the appropriate action. Put forth the necessary effort to change. 

The question we must always begin with is whether we are making the most of this moment. If the scales are not weighed toward us being who we really are and so at peace, then the onus is on us to take back control of this moment and return to it and so be who we really are. This moment is the only place we can be who we really are and so be at our best. 

We can never eliminate those things that weigh on us, but we can become better at recognizing them for what they are, and better at learning to respond appropriately to them. Is this easy? Nope. It demands we spend time getting to know ourselves at a deeper level.  This requires self-honesty, commitment, patience and an incredible amount of perseverance.

Time to unburden ourselves, to lift some of the unwelcome weight that is upon us, by becoming more familiar with the difference between our Noise and our voice and then taking the bold step of trusting our voice to be the best possible response for this moment — AND being content with this. There is nothing more to do.

More to come. 

Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based HNN 125 retailer Kittle’s Furniture.

The post We can deal with anything if we live in the moment appeared first on Home News Now.

Being lost physically is one thing — not a good thing for sure. However, being lost mentally is worse. Our personal Noise can so drown out who we really are that we do not even know where we end, and our Noise begins. The one thing we do know is that the path we are on does not bring happiness, peace, our best and a satisfying life. Sadly, we may begin to believe these concepts are for others, and not for us or we search for them in all the wrong places. 

Identifying what is and isn’t our personal Noise is key. Examples of our personal Noise can include not taking responsibility for our actions, envy, fear, weakness, a lack of genuineness, lack of compassion, pessimism, stress, feeling sorry for ourselves, don’t feel good about who we are, distracted from the moment and so on. Our Noise takes a lot of effort. It is not natural. It is forced. It is us trying to be someone we are not. It tries to make life something it isn’t — controllable, knowable. It is swimming upstream when we do not have to. It is a waste of effort. It clutters our mind and affects our performance, as well as our happiness. It hammers our self-worth. It saps our strength. It leaves us wanting. 

As we peel the Noise away, we become more and more aware of who we really are. This knowledge gives us strength to continue moving forward in our quest to learn to address our personal Noise, for what is revealed is so different and so much better. We are left with what is natural, with who we really are. Strong, full of trust and free of fear of ourselves and life, caring, self-confident, accepting of our mistakes so that we learn from each, embracing life’s ups and downs as natural, living moment to moment as we are designed and built to do, at peace, happier and so much more. We learn who we really are, what we really want, think, feel and need. And we are good with it. We are OK with our limitations, our shortcomings, and we own our mistakes. We relish the wins but, most importantly, we enjoy a foundational steady state of contentment, confidence, peace, happiness and optimism for what is next. 

There is nothing easy about this process. It is incredibly humbling. It is deeply personal. Self-honesty and self-compassion are a must. It is a journey without end but one whose path brightens as we move forward. Life becomes better and better. BUT there are extraordinarily difficult times as old habits are broken and new ones begin. The struggle is the price we pay for a better life. And the struggle makes us stronger and wiser than we would otherwise be. 

Choose a better way to live by learning to identify and then Stop the Noise.

More to come.

Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based Kittle’s.

The post It isn’t easy, but identifying and stopping our personal Noise leads to a better life appeared first on Home News Now.

Mediocrity is never far away. It hangs out waiting for an opportunity to show itself, to take over. It is insidious. It often rears its ugly head when we are far down its path. Once we come to the realization that we are accepting mediocrity and overcome the personal Noise that often tags along: denial, blame, anger and so on, and begin to “own” it, we are often left feeling not only humbled but optimistic about the impact improvement will have. This, despite how much effort it will take to find a new way. It often takes an outside event to understand the scale and scope of mediocrity’s presence and impact.

New information due to a change in process or a change in our external environment — technology, competition, a new hire, benchmarking often reveal it. Reading cogent articles or books, conducting and paying attention to surveys, doing market studies are all steps we can take to proactively address and prevent mediocrity.

Mediocrity often manifests as a slow deterioration of results over time and then suddenly we realize how far we have strayed. This may be a result of not accepting and embracing change and instead relishing the comfortableness of normal. If we are not comfortable with uncomfortableness, then the odds are that we are falling behind, and we are accepting mediocrity.

If our organization’s culture discourages feedback, we are handicapping our organization. Indeed, healthy cultures demand and actively solicit feedback. So many times, individuals see a given process not working as intended or being superfluous or being too complicated and they devise a work-around instead of raising their hand to address the real issue. Most people do not like to confront out of fear of
the potential repercussions. A healthy organization must prove that it is OK to raise your hand. It must encourage it via recognition. Genuinely thanking the individual for their suggestion one on one or in a group, even if the decision is to not change, is so simple but so meaningful. Explaining why or why we are not changing demonstrates respect. The magic tonic is no secret: treating others as we all would want to be treated. This fosters caring, loyalty and ownership in the team members we want on our side.

Every organization needs ALL eyes looking for a better way and questioning why things are being done the way they are — challenging normal. This helps keep mediocrity at bay. Will this happen with every team member? No. However, if the organization understands the importance of creating a culture that encourages this behavior, then that organization will be miles ahead of most. Enough will participate to make a difference, create a competitive advantage, and make accepting mediocrity an exception, not a
rule.

More to come.

Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis-based Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Challenging what’s normal helps keep mediocrity at bay appeared first on Home News Now.

Making a habit of abiding by what others say we should do without asking ourselves what we really think or yielding to their opinion despite our misgivings is living a life filled with distrust of who we are. This is no way to live a life. This stems from our personal Noise.  The fear, anxiety, worry, envy, low self-worth and more that root in distrust take us on the path that misses our potential and leaves us wanting. 

Our decisions are better if they are our decisions, and thus Noise-Free. When we fail, we fail as ourselves. When we win, we win as who we are. Being who we are through thick and thin makes any result better than it would otherwise be. What matters most in life is always being who we really are. When we practice this, our achievements, our success, our wins are more frequent and our mistakes, failures and losses more infrequent, more tolerable and more teachable. Having the wisdom to recognize and look within to our voice and the courage to trust that it is the best response possible for this moment, despite what our personal Noise says, is what life is all about.

Trying to keep up with what others think and do is a prescription for unhappiness. Telling ourselves if “X” happens all will be well is the same. Happiness stems from being who we are and so being at peace. Nothing else. Knowing what we really want is foundational for a life at peace. 

It seems the more we “haveta” have something, the more unhappy we are. What seems to have the potential to make us happy, finally, generally does not — the new job, the car, the new clothes, the vacation, the win, the promotion, the money and so on.  Can they contribute to happiness for a moment or two or even longer? Yes, of course. BUT looking outside us to find a state of happiness, for contentment, for peace is a never-ending, unfulfilled quest. What we do find is self-imposed anxiety, worry, disappointment and frustration — no peace, no foundational happiness, no contentment. Just our personal Noise. This is a function of not trusting ourselves enough to be who we really are. We do what we think we “should” do; we want what we think we “should” want. Sure, the two can overlap, but the driver must be us. Otherwise, we live a life less fulfilling than it would otherwise be. There is a better way. 

We must always look within for what we really want, think, feel, need in this moment — not outside, not to others, not to our personal Noise. This means having an awareness of our voice — how it sounds and how it feels. And then having the courage to trust it, no matter what our personal Noise says.

Within us is all that we are as of this moment — all our learnings, experiences and wisdom. Whatever we choose to do, it must be us that chooses IF we want it to be the best choice we can possibly make. Our choice is only about this moment — no others really matter for they do not exist. This moment is where life is, and we are. Having the best response possible for this moment is enough. There is nothing more we can do. It does no good to try to know and control the result before its time. This only creates more fear, anxiety, worry and stress.

Living as who we really are, moment to moment, the way life and each of us is designed and built to be, is the path to more success, greater achievement, deeper learnings, more resiliency and a better life. 

This is the better way. This is what matters most.

More to come.

Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis-based Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Living as who we really are is the best path to a better life appeared first on Home News Now.

For many, the focus continuum is a struggle. Remaining focused on what is really important right now seems almost impossible at times. The interruptions, distractions, our own poor time management, our lack of real commitment or understanding of how to remain focused, our lack of discipline, our not standing up for ourselves, our failure to prioritize well, our yielding to the temptation of picking up the phone and becoming trapped in the closed loop of insignificant information, and, of course, our own Personal Noise all contribute to taking our eye off the ball. 

Few would argue that a more focused approach to what is happening increases the odds for success. We make better decisions with better results and fewer mental errors (think the shortstop that lets the grounder roll between his legs to left field). We are designed and built to focus on one thing at a time. Study after study makes clear that there is no such thing as an effective multitasker. While we are all called upon to do this, we must be aware that we are being less effective than we would otherwise be. This may be good enough given the circumstances, but never forget that multitasking is far from ideal. 

Taking as much control as possible of this moment, of what is important to focus on now, is critical. This means knowing and listening to our voice — not the Noise. Life is best lived moment to moment. For this moment is where we are, and life is — where else could we be? Where else could life be? This is where our focus needs to be — on what we think is most important now. Listen to our voice. It is our best response to this moment for this is the only moment it responds to. It may not bring a win, but it is us at our best, and that is enough. 

Learning to navigate the interruptions, the worry, the fear, the anxiety of what’s next (our personal Noise) and just focusing on what we really think is best right now takes commitment, effort and perseverance. Tuning out what is really not important and tuning into what is really important is not easy. However, it must happen if we are to remain focused and so maximize this moment’s potential.

Identifying triggers that take us away from what we really need to be doing demands awareness, self-honesty, practice and patience.  Distractions blur what would otherwise be moments of clarity. It is OK to be aware of what is happening around us, but it needs to take a back seat to what we have prioritized. How far back depends on the situation.

Time to answer honestly where we are on the focus continuum. Are we able to control our response to the distractions that inevitably come our way? Are we able to let the distractions come, then let them go? Do we know how to bring ourselves back to this moment when we lose focus, and then stay here? If not, then map out a path to become more focused and make the most of each moment. Pay attention to what pulls you off course and learn how to change that behavior. Learn to tune out what isn’t really important now. Learn to resist the pull of outside forces that clutter the mind. 

Remember that this is the only moment that matters, the only one that exists. It is up to us to make the most of it. Remaining focused is foundational to making this happen and to being our best.

More to come.

Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based HNN 125 Retailer Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Remaining focused on what’s most important right now is key to being our best appeared first on Home News Now.

Better choices. Better results. A Better life. All are ours for the taking IF we Stop the Noise so that we can Be Our Best. 

In times of stress, our need to know and control what will happen amps up. This is a direct result of distrust and fear. Distrust in ourselves and in life. Fear that we will fail, be embarrassed, disappoint, be seen as a loser or not be able to overcome the negative result.  This distrust, this fear is misplaced and simply Noise. Worry, anxiety, fear, distrust are self-created obstacles to success, to being all that we are and at our best. We tend to overthink and over-analyze in our effort to know and control what cannot be known and controlled. This makes the situation worse. 

Putting the crisis before us in perspective, stepping back and reminding ourselves that no matter the result of this circumstance, everything that happens makes us better IF we are open to learning and growing from it. Thinking back on all that we have overcome despite the distrust, the fear, the worry, the anxiety, the lack of confidence we felt at the time helps us become better at dealing with the crisis before us. 

Expect life’s natural rhythm of ebbs and flows to happen. There will be times of amazing good fortune. There will be times when we seem to be taking bullet after bullet. There will be times that fall in between. Better choices today, those made with a clear mind, with perspective, mean a better life today and tomorrow. A clear mind, that maintains perspective, helps us better understand life’s natural rhythm for what it is, an opportunity to grow and improve. Life’s rhythms exist for a reason. We are designed and built to make the most of each. It is up to us to do so. 

Maintaining perspective during times of stress helps remind us of what really matters. While the present situation may pull us into its orbit, we cannot let it snatch us from who we really are. This is the constant, the one thing in our lives that matters most. No matter the circumstance. This is how we Be Our Best. 

As leaders we are charged with the responsibility to maintain perspective. Team members look to the leader for guidance, for direction as to how to respond to a difficult situation. The leader who knows when to get into the weeds and when to take a 30,000-foot view is the leader that is most likely to lead the team to a win. For not only will the leader’s mind be clear, but the minds of those around the table will also be clearer than they would otherwise be. This makes for not only a better result, but also a more pleasant journey. 

Everyone and every team must navigate difficult times. Maintaining perspective positions us for making decisions that are better than they would otherwise be. A clear mind performs better than one bathed in chaos and Noise. This is a win for all involved now and later.  Better choices today give us a head start on tomorrow’s. Nice.

When our personal Noise gets in the way of our ability to think clearly, it’s best to take a step back. Take a few deep breaths, pay attention to what is happening around us in this moment, put the situation in perspective, even think about someone you love or recall a favorite place, and then jump back into today’s reality with a clearer mind and a more focused vision of what we are really facing. 

Maintaining perspective with a clear mind yields more victories and the most important win of all: Being Our Best by being all that we are, and so living a life at peace

More to come.

Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis, Indiana-based Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Navigating difficult times with the right perspective helps us be our best selves appeared first on Home News Now.

As we deal with life, what it puts at our doorstep, we are constantly reminded of the mystery of what’s next. None of us really know what life will bring. How we choose to meet this challenge moment by moment determines much about the kind of life we live. Are we happy? Are we at peace? Is our mind clear of our personal Noise? Are we at our best? Are we content? Are we grateful? Are we comfortable with ambiguity? Are we full of trust and free of fear?

Accepting and embracing life as it is and ourselves as we are means understanding the limits of both. Trying to make ourselves and/or life something other than what we really are creates dissonance. We are left anxious, worried and unhappy. This is a mind cluttered with Noise. Noise distracts and keeps us from being who we really are and at our best.

In our quest to know and control what cannot be known and controlled, we find ourselves on a path of constant frustration, worry, anxiety and fear. We live only a shell of a life, not one filled with substance. This is not how we are designed and built. “Better” and “Best” need to drive us; this is enough. We do not need to force ourselves to try to “Know” and “Control.” 

Moment to Moment is a better way to live even with all its limitations. It is enough. There is nothing more to do. There is nothing more we can do. No need to spend our moments ruminating, wrestling, worried about what cannot be known or controlled. Being content with what we have done in this moment, with a clear mind, at our best is a better way to live a life. We must break the habits of old. We must fight off the distrust and fear that demand the impossible and leave us wanting and removed from what this moment really offers. 

Making the most of this moment by being all-in is enough. Being all that we are, focused on maximizing the potential of this moment to the exclusion of all others, is a better way to live. Reaching for more than this moment can offer is asking too much of it. 

Yes, “more” serves us well. But asking for more than can be yields discontent. This is no way to spend our brief time here. Becoming comfortable with all that this moment offers, and not demanding it give us more than it has to give, is enough for it is the path of a better life.

More to come.

The post Thoughts on making the most of this moment appeared first on Home News Now.

We do not know how life will fill any moment. Sometimes it brings quiet, sometimes noise; sometimes it is slow, sometimes fast; sometimes it brings failure, sometimes victory and so on. To respond most appropriately to whatever the moment brings, we must be immersed in it. 

So often past moments linger. So often moments to come clutter our mind and fill it with worry, anxiety, fear and distrust — Noise. Both leave us distracted from what matters most — this moment, the only one we can really control. Our actions today impact not only this moment but future moments, so being our best, all-in, in this moment is the best way to live our life. Better decisions today yield better results today and tomorrow. Good choices today provide a stronger foundation for future decisions.

The best choices are made with a clear, uncluttered mind. This only happens living moment to moment. Not letting go of moments past or future keeps us from being our best today. Living life comfortable with ambiguity, with not knowing, with accepting and embracing what has happened, what is happening and what might happen is a life lived well. Is this easy? No. It is difficult to let go of worry, anxiety, fear and distrust about what is next. It is challenging to not relive failures and beat oneself up or spend this moment lamenting their occurrence.

It is up to each of us to trust enough in ourselves and in life to follow the response to this moment that flows from within us, despite what the Noise may tell us. This is the best response possible because it is made with a clear, uncluttered mind, with all that we are, as of this moment. Compartmentalizing areas of concern to focus on what this moment brings is a learned mental discipline. Putting concerns aside for another time, not allowing them to distract us from what matters most in this moment, takes practice. The feelings, the fear, the distrust, the worry, the anxiety that too often determine our response often are upon us before we know it. Other times they worm their way into our thinking and before we know it, they own us. Learning to recognize their voice and ours, and then acting on ours, is the key to successfully making the most of this moment. 

Understanding who we are, and letting what flows from within us happen, will naturally allow us to focus and respond in the best, most appropriate manner to this moment. We will recognize the Noise; let it come and then let it go. We will be left with who we are, at our best, with a clear mind armed with all that we are to deal with whatever life brings.

Practice letting go. Live a better life. 

More to come.

Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis-based Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Practice letting it go for a better life appeared first on Home News Now.

Optimists trust themselves and life. Their trust is not that things will always go their way, but rather that there is a natural rhythm to abide by that works. We each have our own rhythm, as does life. When the two are in sync, when we accept and embrace the ebbs and flows of life, our optimism is well founded.

Accepting and embracing not just life as it is but also ourselves as we are is foundational if we are to Be Our Best and let loose the optimist within us. Spending our time trying to be someone we are not or making life something it is not, is time wasted and opportunity missed. This is not where optimism lives. This is not where Being Our Best lives. Nor should we.

There is genuine, healthy optimism and there is the unhealthy. Many of us know people who consider themselves optimists, but their actions say otherwise. They are pessimists but won’t admit it. They try to convince themselves and others that they are something they are not without doing the hard work to break the habit of pessimism. There are also those who are overly optimistic. Their view tends to be unrealistic as they fall victim to self-talk that can be detached from reality. That said, the middle of the optimism bell curve is where most optimists reside, and it is a good place to be.

Our personal Noise can prevent us from being our optimistic self. As we learn more and more about what creates our Noise, we become better and better at sluffing off the yoke of pessimism. Even the most optimistic among us can be susceptible to our Noise and find ourselves in a dark place. 

Saying we are an optimist does not always mean we are an optimist. There is a vast difference between being optimistic about the future and trusting it to happen, and trying to know and control the future, not letting it Just Happen, not trusting it to reveal itself one moment at a time. This belies a fundamental distrust. It is one thing to develop a plan, put forth the effort and be optimistic about achieving a goal. It is quite another to try to force the goal to happen, to clutter our mind with worry, anxiety and fear, trying to know the result before its time. This breaks with life’s natural rhythm and leaves us performing at less than Our Best. There is no optimism without trust. Distrust manifests in trying to know and control what cannot be known or controlled. 

Optimists are fortunate to have a good dose of trust. They trust themselves and they trust life. This must be held onto even in the most difficult times.  When the focus moves from the process, from the path to the destination, that trust is tested, and we often fail. Optimism is how we live as we embrace the vagaries of life. Not everything goes as planned. Few things do. Optimism helps us see our way through with greater clarity of mind unburdened by our Noise and bolstered by our trust. 

Optimism is not just about charting the path forward and believing it can happen, being positive about the potential result. To be a true optimist, we must look past the present path to the ones that follow. The true optimist is optimistic about what happens after success or failure, the paths that have yet to be revealed. The true optimist knows that there is a rhythm to life and that being one with that rhythm yields the best results over time. Things fall apart. But things also fall into place. For the optimist, they fall into place better than they otherwise would, into a new place, a new path forward, into the light.

Choose optimism. Choose Being Your Best. Choose trust. Choose a better life.

More to come.

Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based retailer Kittle’s Furniture.

The post Thoughts on optimism and what it really means appeared first on Home News Now.

In Part 2, we look deeper within us to challenge ourselves to recognize and gain a better understanding of who we really are, what we really want, think, feel and need and of the personal Noise that must change if we are to follow our own path.   

Our pursuit to Be Our Best greatly benefits by our knowing who we really are and being content with it. This begins with an honest self-assessment. The more honest we are with ourselves the more progress we make toward our goal of Being Our Best, of maximizing our potential. 

Honesty is critical to this process. So is a clear, open mind as we explore our depths. This is personal — it doesn’t get any more personal.   Asking ourselves the hard questions: Do we feel good about who we are? Do we trust ourselves? Do we live in fear? Is our self-worth defined by the latest victory or defeat? Do we spend our time trying to win the approval of others? Do we ruminate on moments yet to come or moments past to try to know and control what cannot be known and controlled? Are we in a constant battle with life’s natural rhythms? 

If we answer “yes” to any of these, then it is time to pursue the uncomfortable. This pursuit is life’s most difficult and most rewarding.  Changing behaviors that have become embedded deep within us, that mask who we really are, test our commitment, perseverance and patience. It takes much effort, much understanding and the ability to cut ourselves some slack, for there are no straight lines in nature.  

Channeling all that we are to focus on this moment only is where we begin. There is only one place that we are, and life is — this moment. No other moments matter. Other moments be damned. If we own this moment only, we will make the most of it and this will position us for more success than we would otherwise have in this moment and in moments yet to come. Developing the mental discipline to limit our focus to this moment only means we enjoy a clear, open mind, at peace, uncluttered by fear, distrust, worry and anxiety. This yields better choices today. Better choices today mean better results today and tomorrow. 

When we know better who we really are and trust who we really are, what we really want, think, feel, need becomes clearer. There is no need to question ourselves, for the best possible response to this moment is already, always happening within us. It is up to each of us to recognize it and then let it loose. 

Embracing change, breaking old bad habits becomes much easier if we are acting from a solid foundation built from who we really are.  If we define a life well lived as being true to ourselves, being comfortable in our own skin and that our response to whatever life brings is the best possible for it is all that we are as of this moment, then we have found victory, no matter whether we win or lose in this particular moment. In short, when we are being who we really are, experiencing life the way it was meant to be lived, moment by moment, then we have won. This makes change, breaking old habits easier. While still difficult, knowing we have already won, breeds confidence and greases the wheels of change.

Becoming more self-aware is a path most do not walk. It is difficult. It is frustrating. It is incredibly uncomfortable. It requires much effort and perseverance, for it is a winding path that often backtracks. It asks us to change basic assumptions, beliefs and to understand them and their source. This can be painful and frustrating. But it is worth it.

As we said in Part One, to learn, grow and improve requires we be uncomfortable. The new, the different can feel threatening, feed fear and leave us unmoored for a time. This is never truer than when asking the hardest and most personal of life’s questions:

Am I being the kind of person I want to be?

Do I look forward to each day?

Am I passionate about what I am doing?

Have I gone stale? Is life a series of motions and not much more?

Am I making a difference?

Am I at peace?

If the time has arrived to pursue change, pursue the uncomfortable, do so. Commit, be patient, remain true and relish the learning, the growing, the improving and the feeling of peace that marks the new path. 

More to come.

Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based retailer Kittle’s Furniture.

The post The pursuit of uncomfortableness: Part 2 appeared first on Home News Now.