by It’s important to determine what matters most in life. This begins with being honest with yourself. It means filtering out societal expectations. It means being an active learner. It means listening to those we respect, but in the end knowing we must step up and answer as ourselves. It means recognizing, listening and then trusting our voice, the one that flows from within.
Making a habit of abiding by what others say we should do without asking ourselves what we really think or yielding to their opinion despite our misgivings is living a life filled with distrust of who we are. This is no way to live a life. This stems from our personal Noise. The fear, anxiety, worry, envy, low self-worth and more that root in distrust take us on the path that misses our potential and leaves us wanting.
Our decisions are better if they are our decisions, and thus Noise-Free. When we fail, we fail as ourselves. When we win, we win as who we are. Being who we are through thick and thin makes any result better than it would otherwise be. What matters most in life is always being who we really are. When we practice this, our achievements, our success, our wins are more frequent and our mistakes, failures and losses more infrequent, more tolerable and more teachable. Having the wisdom to recognize and look within to our voice and the courage to trust that it is the best response possible for this moment, despite what our personal Noise says, is what life is all about.
Trying to keep up with what others think and do is a prescription for unhappiness. Telling ourselves if “X” happens all will be well is the same. Happiness stems from being who we are and so being at peace. Nothing else. Knowing what we really want is foundational for a life at peace.
It seems the more we “haveta” have something, the more unhappy we are. What seems to have the potential to make us happy, finally, generally does not — the new job, the car, the new clothes, the vacation, the win, the promotion, the money and so on. Can they contribute to happiness for a moment or two or even longer? Yes, of course. BUT looking outside us to find a state of happiness, for contentment, for peace is a never-ending, unfulfilled quest. What we do find is self-imposed anxiety, worry, disappointment and frustration — no peace, no foundational happiness, no contentment. Just our personal Noise. This is a function of not trusting ourselves enough to be who we really are. We do what we think we “should” do; we want what we think we “should” want. Sure, the two can overlap, but the driver must be us. Otherwise, we live a life less fulfilling than it would otherwise be. There is a better way.
We must always look within for what we really want, think, feel, need in this moment — not outside, not to others, not to our personal Noise. This means having an awareness of our voice — how it sounds and how it feels. And then having the courage to trust it, no matter what our personal Noise says.
Within us is all that we are as of this moment — all our learnings, experiences and wisdom. Whatever we choose to do, it must be us that chooses IF we want it to be the best choice we can possibly make. Our choice is only about this moment — no others really matter for they do not exist. This moment is where life is, and we are. Having the best response possible for this moment is enough. There is nothing more we can do. It does no good to try to know and control the result before its time. This only creates more fear, anxiety, worry and stress.
Living as who we really are, moment to moment, the way life and each of us is designed and built to be, is the path to more success, greater achievement, deeper learnings, more resiliency and a better life.
This is the better way. This is what matters most.
More to come.
Eric Easter is chief executive officer of Indianapolis-based Kittle’s Furniture.
