by All of us have moments, events, situations and personal Noise that weigh on us. Regrets, losses, bad breaks, failures, even the burden of past success, as well as the fear that we impose on ourselves about what might happen. When the heavier side of the scale is about what has happened or what might happen and not about what matters most, what is happening — today, this moment, we have let life get the better of us.
Life is meant to be lived moment by moment. This is how we are designed and built. We can deal with whatever life brings when we take it a moment at a time. When we stray from this, life becomes much more difficult. We give up what little control we have, we try to know what cannot be known and change what cannot be changed, which means we fall short of making the most of this moment and living the life we want to live.
There are times when we are weighed down by what life has served up. We can become mired in unpleasant memories or distracted by what could happen if a result goes against us. A closed loop of fear, of sorrow, of distrust can clutter our mind, pollute our thoughts and leave us unhappy, anxious and uncomfortable with not only life but who we think we are. This is Noise. Our personal Noise. It is not who we really are. Learning to understand the difference between who we really are and the Noise that masks our true self is a life challenge that we all must meet if we are to find peace, contentment and happiness.
A move forward is to accept and embrace these burdens for what they are and strive to understand why they exist. For example, maybe we are anxious about an upcoming negotiation. Why? Fear of failure? Worry about what others will think? That we will be responsible for a disaster for our organization if we fail? A lack of self-confidence? Delve into the “why” of these feelings. Try to understand their source. Then learn to put these fears to the side. It also pays dividends when we step back and ask whether we are doing all that we can, and no more, to prepare for the negotiation. If we are, then there is nothing more to do. Recognize the Noise that is drowning out our true feelings. Is it telling us to do more even though there is nothing more to do? Is it hammering us to be absolutely sure (impossible) that we have done all that we can to be ready? Is it making unreasonable, super-human demands that weigh us down, that distract us, that keep us from being our best in this moment? If so, recognize this and then take the appropriate action. Put forth the necessary effort to change.
The question we must always begin with is whether we are making the most of this moment. If the scales are not weighed toward us being who we really are and so at peace, then the onus is on us to take back control of this moment and return to it and so be who we really are. This moment is the only place we can be who we really are and so be at our best.
We can never eliminate those things that weigh on us, but we can become better at recognizing them for what they are, and better at learning to respond appropriately to them. Is this easy? Nope. It demands we spend time getting to know ourselves at a deeper level. This requires self-honesty, commitment, patience and an incredible amount of perseverance.
Time to unburden ourselves, to lift some of the unwelcome weight that is upon us, by becoming more familiar with the difference between our Noise and our voice and then taking the bold step of trusting our voice to be the best possible response for this moment — AND being content with this. There is nothing more to do.
More to come.
Eric Easter is CEO of Indianapolis-based HNN 125 retailer Kittle’s Furniture.
